Miscellania

I felt so bad, cause I didn't know how to feel bad enough to make him proud. By the time you read this, I will be so far away. Daddy longlegs, how in the world am I to be expected to stay?

Hi! This is a goofy picture I took. I do not live in this building.... So far school has been really engaging and interesting. The people I'm meeting are so unique from each other as well as the people I am used to meeting in Western Mass. I love my campus. I am starting to know my way around (though it will be an entirely different task to map out where my individual classes are.)  Blah blah food is good, dorm room is beautiful, roommate is great etc etc etc I will try to keep updating here when classes start but no promises ;) Hope everyone is having a great end to their summers! xoxox -m

As none of you will be surprised, I am still packing...

Packing for school! Ah this is impossible. I am so easily distracted right now. I am so stressed right now. Ok, off to try and buckle down... two days until Mount Holyoke! P.s. I want a dog named Paloma

I'm leading you on a wild man hunt through the thick forest of my shifting river hair Chase the trail of my laugh through this unmapped frontier Come find me. An ember, though a dead flame to most, still burns deep scarlet and warm to me. I see your glow and feel your heat through the coldest nights and the dullest days I taste the bitter dirt in your kiss the earthly flavor of calamity but follow my lips to the mouth of the river cast your net for me Uncover my bones in an avalanche of anecdotes search the sea for the mooring buoy of my stories Be the hound dog and pick me out from every aroma that distracts you feel my braille goosebumps and read me like your diary Confide in me Come find me

ooooof :x -m

This is my new journal! Isn't it beautiful? I didn't take a picture of the pages but they are so coarse and thick and wonderful for all my thoughts and doodles. (& secrets!) Things are going swimmingly. I move into school in about three weeks. Next wednesday I fly to Florida to visit my dad with my brothers (& kelly) for a week. Right now I am behaving in typical Mia fashion-- rearranging my room. Right now I am in the beginning stages: going through old clothes, books, junk, etc. and then I will move my bed which is the biggest obstacle. Anyway, I will be sure to write about Florida/post some pictures/ etc. but I am excited to start journaling all of my private thoughts and memories hehehee toodles -m

sometimes it’s best to explain the biggest things in the smallest words. sometimes even the biggest things can get lost in all those syllables. love is just another four letter word. but could you build anything bigger? While two year old teeth can carve it into the air and 87 year old gums can breathe it with the exhaust of so many times and so many tries. but for me it gets caught somewhere between the lump in my throat and my pride because i’m already tired from all the times that i’ve tried so If death is eternal sleep then bury me in piles of paper and send me down an ink river because lately I can’t rest without writing of you but you travel past my teeth and tongue like frozen smoke lining my lungs with ice and leaving my ears burning hot & I swear I could still trace out your figure in the dark until you were close enough and swallowed me whole suddenly drowning in you waking up underneath a layer of ice cubes and I gasp one cold hard breath of you and with my exhale  I...

First, a couple of disclosures: I do not claim to be a world renowned poet. I just love to do it. I do not claim to know everything. I'm just a kid. I write because I have to. It is in me and I can't go a day without it. OK, so I have been writing quite a bit lately. By that I mean I have been staring at about 7 or 8 open text edit windows with poems that have been lying in wait from anywhere from a week to 9 months. I have decided to jump-start my creative engine and finally break through all of these emotions I have been futally trying to articulate for months. I will do this by writing a poem based on a creative writing prompt daily. I will be using this  web site for my prompts. I will probably hand write them but maybe if I am feeling confident enough I will post one. Tonight I am going to continue to work towards polishing up any of these one stanza poems into something good but it's already 1:58am... I ordered a new journal! I can't wait to start us...

The purpose of an Om ring: " Fill your life with unity by understanding that every decision has an effect on your life." I was at the convenient store around the corner yesterday and I noticed the woman working the cash register had a diamon om ring. I immediately showed her mine. Her eyes went wide and she said, "You know what this is?! You know what Om is?" I told her I did. She said, "You know this is the sacred. You must not touch alcohol while wearing this ring!" I nodded and she motioned for me to come over to the side of the counter so she could look at my ring. I took it off and she held it in her hands and smiled.  "You are not Hindu... right?" She asked. "No, I'm not." "Do you practice yoga?" "Yes!" Then her husband laughed and said, "We must find you an Indian boyfriend! We will get you one!" I originally bought my Om ring to remind me of my connection to myself, my spi...

I had some frustrations I just couldn't shake today... So I brought them to my mat and simply left them there. Here's a shot from today's practice :) I did a lot of physical stuff today. Running, sprinting, Tennis, bike riding, and yoga! I have become a handstand expert! Ok maybe not an expert but I'm getting pretty good! I have scars and bruises on my body. I'm not afraid to physically get hurt. I've been running and falling and climbing and I have so much energy and so much life in me. I came to some substantial conclusions about a lot of what's been going on lately. I lost myself a little bit there. Of course as with any break up there's a hole where that love used to be. It's not a horribly deep hole with rough edges, it's just your average end of a period of my life kind of hole. And I'm not one to hide my failures. I tried to fill it. With stupid boys I didn't care about, with cigarettes and cloves and beer pong. I stuffed gr...

I am stretching and twitching out of my shell and am a mess of vulnerable, itching cells It's never easy and it's never fun it's strenuous, exhausting but it has to be done. xo -M

A conversation between two residents at the nursing home where I work. Resident one: farts Resident two: "You're an old fart." Both: laugh hysterically until they start coughing. :)

A couple of things that are on my mind... Loss is tough. Losing love is tough. Forcing someone else to experience the loss of love is tough. But it makes you tough. If you let it. You have to dig up those feelings and expose them to the searing sun and shattering rain. You have to let those feelings rot and decompose right there in the oxygen or the time it takes for them to return to the dust from which they once came will only be elongated. Sometimes it is easy to find who you are in someone else's reminding you. But then, when was the easy thing ever the right thing? My knees are rusted machinery now. My heels are heavier and every time my feet hit the pavement it is with the weight of what I've done & It is with the absence of what I haven't. I feel no regret or sadness, just the itching ache of growing pains and that's the whole point of this universe thing anyway. -m

 I harbor no ill feelings but my dock is encumbered with ghost ships of your lips My shirt pocket holds every echo I should have said.

I dont wanna grow up from kcirtap101 on 8tracks . A lot has changed in the past few weeks. I should be writing but I haven't had the time. Today was my last day of high school and I am so happy. I am cleaning out my room right now to mark the end of this era and also because it is filthy. This summer: -Tennis every day -Yoga every day -Reading soo much to be continued...

This is a poem from a really strange dream I had last night. In the dream "this" poem was read to me by a stranger. This is what I've done with what I remember of the poem combined with some things I've been trying to express in a poem lately. Thought this would be a little more simple but the post it notes on my mirror like adhesive memoirs  are thought bubbles from my reflection I'd thought it through though or at least so I'd thought I guess not Through her initials marked on places in our neighborhood we communicated this way we had of "running into each other" by carved names and declarations of our presence now our stories twist like the stems of flowers who'd chinned up at the sound of her laughter Though I know he's digging me cause his nails are digging into me it keeps sliding up my throat to the tip of my tongue but I swallow your name back down to my gut turning taste buds into goose b...

Right now I am eating lunch. At 11am.... But I have been starving dice last night and with nothing in the house to eat here I am now. Yesterday I had a tennis match and my team won! And I won my individual match with my partner too! Then I left my IPhone on the school bus that drove us home and after some chaos (mostly on my moms part) and some good samaritans I have it back. After plans got convoluted with my boyfriend yesterday Elise and I decided to go to deer tick's show at the jbo. That took a lot of effort too as we couldn't find an ATM anywhere. The show was great and my brother was there too! Oh yeah and Muscle Russ! Overnight at Moho Sunday! Yeee!!! -m

I've been thinking a lot about commitment and what it means to me. I remember once telling my friend at the beginning of this year that I find it hard to stay committed to new endeavors. Now, as the year is closing, I don't see myself this way at all anymore. I have been in a wonderful, silly, strong relationship with the best (albeit metal as anything) boyfriend for a year next month. I have been consistent at my workplace and have established it as a place I love to be in my heart and mind. I always strive to help anyone I can and I have met some amazing people from all walks of life. I have strengthened my relationships with my best friends and feel so comfortable being open and honest with myself and with them. My peels and I are an elaborate ecosystem and we are always there to fill in and help each other out. I have made new friends and consistently put in effort to maintain these new relationships. I have few fears of losing any of my friends to college or after gr...

Things I want to buy at the mall with my friends but can't because I don't get paid til tomorrow. I will return for you my pretties!!

I think I am going to pass out and I'm nowhere near finished. This is my checklist.... Yup.... I've completed 2 things. I don't know what to do I hate everything. I have some errands to run before I pick up my boyfriend at Umass... Just want to eat chocolate until I comatose.  -M

I have the cutest crafts for Easter weekend I am going to do today/tonight.... But of course the people I am doing them for will see this and know! So shh! But know there is a cute Easter surprise for my best friends / boyfriend. -M

I'm typing this up feeling so good. I'm warm and snuggly in my mount holyoke hoodie. Tonight I signed the papers for my deposit and am officially attending the perfect college for me! Things are winding down at school-- feels like I'm inching closer to high school's end with one stupid project deadline at a time. Busting my multigenre out for next monday/tuesday... every day it feels like I learn of another attachment I have to include... Oh well. Trying to decide what to wear to Easter mass this Sunday with my boyfriend's family. (Why don't I own any pastels?!) Played my first match of the tennis season today. (Lost to Amherst hehe no surprises there. But played well! 1-6 to 3-6) Now to read some Survivor before falling ashleeeep! -M

So I am procrastinating a bit and filled out this reading survey... 55 questions oops.... but I miss reading and am falling back in love <3 <3 Expect some book reviews!! By the way: The senior show was cancelled so I didn't perform my spoken word. Which is fine by me because I was so nervous! Here's the survey just for fun!

I know it's stupid but since I was accepted to moho I've been so motivated. I think Emily Dickinson is possessing me. Yesterday I did so much homework and wrote a paper and watched a film for art and filled out some scholarship applications. I feel great! Now I am waiting for my boyfriend to get here and then I'm making him some dinner and we're going to his school to hang out. Ya! (pssst: Check it out-- my boyfriend and I are seeing Radiohead!) He just texted me and said he's almost here so i've got to goooo but I just wanted to update since I am reviving this blog. I also want to mention that I am performing spoken word for the first time (since the dysfunctional poetry group at the library that was put out of its misery by the tornado) at my school's senior talent show on thursday! So nervous! Later! -M

Seems like it's been forever since I posted on here... oh wait it has. I always come back to this blog. I love this blog. This is my comeback blog. Here's a comeback for ya: College Update! -Salve Regina: (My original #1 choice) Accepted, but haven't heard about tuition exchange/probably won't get it -Simmons College: Accepted w/ tuition exchange! -Smith College: Wait listed -Mount Holyoke College: (#1 choice!) Accepted, haven't heard back from tuition exchange. -Hampshire College: No word as of yet. Yay! This weekend/next few weeks will be jam packed with school projects, tennis (I'm varsity, [I think!]) , and some senioritis. Working on a multigenre project on Gandhi that is turning out way more fun than expected (but still very arduous.) x0x0x0x0x0x00x0x -M