Stupid Little Things I'm Proud of Myself About


  • I had some frustrations I just couldn't shake today... So I brought them to my mat and simply left them there. Here's a shot from today's practice :)
  • I did a lot of physical stuff today. Running, sprinting, Tennis, bike riding, and yoga!
  • I have become a handstand expert! Ok maybe not an expert but I'm getting pretty good!
  • I have scars and bruises on my body. I'm not afraid to physically get hurt. I've been running and falling and climbing and I have so much energy and so much life in me.
  • I came to some substantial conclusions about a lot of what's been going on lately. I lost myself a little bit there. Of course as with any break up there's a hole where that love used to be. It's not a horribly deep hole with rough edges, it's just your average end of a period of my life kind of hole. And I'm not one to hide my failures. I tried to fill it. With stupid boys I didn't care about, with cigarettes and cloves and beer pong. I stuffed grad parties and flirty text messages into the hole that could only heal with more love-- but this time just some good ol' self love. This is so queer sounding but I'm just honestly documenting a realization that's made me proud of myself.
  • I'm proud of the fact that I am not hiding any pain or hurt. I am going to be fine, but I'm not going to hide from the fact that I'm dealing with some emotions and experiences that are not so fun but so important and so helpful for my personal growth. There's no shame in being human.

I'm also working on my letter to myself project that I started 7 years ago when I wrote a letter to myself to be read after 8th grade graduation. This was something my entire class did but I also continued it on my own after 8th grade and have just opened my letter from my 14 year old self. Now I am writing my next letter, including a filled out copy of the book Listography to be read when I graduate from Mount Holyoke in four years. As I'm writing the letter I feel that nothing will change but that has never been the case when reading my previous two letters.

Anyway, bed time for now.
Yoga tomorrow morning and then Alex and Kelly are visiting from NJ!

Wonderful weekend ahead-- my graduation party is saturday!

-m

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