Miscellania

I live within music, so loud that it's hard to breathe. I live within the minds of a million different writers and thinkers. Each one as crazy as the last. I live within my own mind, like a cage with yarn bars. Somehow, I still just cannot get out. I'm still searching, you know. Everything is so typically 'high school'. "Are you going to homecoming?" "What are you wearing?" "Did you hear what she said to him on facebook?" Sigh.

Dear friend, I've been growing out my hair. I'm trying to stretch out my wings. Attempting to let down my guard. I've been at peace with the serpents. I hope all is well with you. Click your heels we're going home.

I'm still alive. These days It's sunny walks home at 4pm; making new friends; Realizing I've disappeared a bit. Taking pictures with a 35mm Vivitar Power Zoom, moccasin loafers. Having my mother be proud of me, taking good Earth Science notes. Listening to Wilco's Sky Blue Sky. Talking with Tiffany in my kitchen drinking Newman's own lemonade. Growing up and reconnecting with the kid in me. weekend: Friday: Sleeping over Sophia Smola's house. Saturday: Lunch with Ali Mraz Sunday: Big E with eelzy, jimmy/kimmy Mazz. I've watched 3 episodes of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide, to mourn the break up of Cookie/Peter and I. Reading: Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs. (Thanks Tiff) I'll get back to prozac nation, this one just pulled me in.

In the way that some people will try to pinpoint an exact moment of their past, to remember what they felt, the smells, sights, and sounds of that very moment. It lives on forever within them, an eternal souvenir gleaming on a shelf in their mind. I want to pinpoint the moment in our future, when we collide. Skin on skin, heart on heart. I want to feel the way I will feel, the smells sights and sounds of that very moment. The moment you lay tangent to my curves, the second we intertwine. Even when being romantic, I still had to squeeze in a math joke. If you find it, let me know. I find it hard to believe in things, but somehow, no matter what the problem, my philosophy is always "Things will work themselves out." I have come to realize, that they always do.

My eyelids are pink with insomnia. The truth is we're just two totally different people. I don't know where we're going, or if we'll ever intersect. The only thing you'll destroy is yourself. You can't have faith that things will get better. you have to hang on, even if it hurts you. I've gone about this wrong, tangled my emotions and myself within your tangled web. I want to save you, to pull you out, I want to breathe the life back into you. You've made your bed, now lay in it. I hope you sleep well alone.