Creating a self portrait, tangibly and metaphorically.

I am so unbelievably sick of trying to edit myself all the time.
I am so tired of working towards the future, and dealing with the now.
I am so insanely annoyed with wanting to be something, and never being it.
I am so endlessly unhappy with always being one step behind.
I am so worn out and worn in and beat up.

I am the soles in the shoes you wore, everday.
I am just serving my purpose because it's something to do.
I am bored with rushing to get to school, wait, rush to get home, wait for morning again.
constantly hurrying to wait.

Everything is monotonous, and everyone is more interesting than I.
Everyone is tiring, and requires too much effort.
Everyone is pulling, prodding for the same affection they are so used to receiving.
Everyone is the same, even i feel the same, for saying that i'm tired of everyone being the same.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Quick update before bed

I'm typing this up feeling so good. I'm warm and snuggly in my mount holyoke hoodie. Tonight I signed the papers for my deposit and am officially attending the perfect college for me! Things are winding down at school-- feels like I'm inching closer to high school's end with one stupid project deadline at a time. Busting my multigenre out for next monday/tuesday... every day it feels like I learn of another attachment I have to include... Oh well. Trying to decide what to wear to Easter mass this Sunday with my boyfriend's family. (Why don't I own any pastels?!) Played my first match of the tennis season today. (Lost to Amherst hehe no surprises there. But played well! 1-6 to 3-6) Now to read some Survivor before falling ashleeeep! -M
Read more

Bridges And Balloons :D

Today, i spray painted my vans again. When i bought them they were black and white checkered. I then spray painted them white, then brown, then green, then one brown and one green, then one white and one brown, now they're both brown. I'm running out of spray paint! I haven't been working on my 10 people project lately, i should be, and diligently at that. Danny came home for the long weekend. I looked at baby pictures. I ate some soup, some PBJs, and drank a lot of cranberry-raspberry juice. I can't wait for Thanksgiving. Maybe, the mom will hook me up with some tofurkey. It was late, and rainy. I was on my Thanksgiving break. I remember the tar smelt good, like it always does after a nice thunderstorm, as i have come to know as the smell of Ozone being produced from lighting. So, i had first given up meat and my mother, being the dear she is, offered to take me to the grocery store to get some necessary items for the week and to buy me some vegetarian delicatessen...
Read more

Age old New shoes, and the buddy system.

Image
I had to go shopping because I didn't have any shoes that matched my Class Night/ Graduation dresses. I ended up getting two pairs, Shirley Temple's shoes, and Helen of Troy's. Don't tell them. The adventure started when my mom came home with the brilliant idea of heading to the mall to buy some shoes. JcPenney had nothing, and smelt kind of bad, but I bought Sam a shirt and told her happy birthday, a few months late. So we made a quick stop to McDonald's where I was checked out by a cute boy at the drive up window, who followed us to the second window, so he could talk to us again,. The food wasn't very good, greasy fries, and too crunchy chicken nuggets. Hi-C was great though, it never lets me down. So then we headed over to Pay-Less, where we did just that. I got two pairs of shoes, and my mom got one. Sam and I giggled at some Hannah Montana socks, and I took a long time. I hate shoe shopping, I have a system. -Buy a pair of shoes at Mass Bay Co...
Read more