Miscellania

Friend, I'm sorry. I can't do this. I start high school in three days. I have two novels to read, math and science packets to complete, laundry to do, some mental figuring out to do, loose ends to tie, a summer to conclude, things to worry about, letters to write. I can't fix your broken heart. I can't make someone else love you, nor can you. I can't shake you and breathe the life and hopefulness you once had back into you. I can't cure your loneliness. I can't stop you from putting a gun to your head. I don't know what you want from me, I am not a therapist. You deserve so much, that I am ready and willing to give you. You don't care who it's from, you just want to receive love. I can't just sit here and cry thinking about the possibility of you not being here. Once you've calmed down. You don't feel like talking. You just use me up, to talk to and shed this emotion on. I don't mind it. I'll do whatever it takes to make you ...

so i sit on the edge, of my sick brother's bed. he pats me on the back, in a struggling attempt to show how much he cares, but how the weight of his fatigue keeps him grounded. I want to die, i whisper to the dark, really no one at all. he tells me he needs me, and that i'm of good use. he's trying, and thats important to me, but i can't just sit and stay, so i turn and walk away, he mumbles something incoherently, and turns, nodding back to sleep. Take a left down the stairs, she'll show you all of the gray hairs, caused by me, my problematic capability. She screams at me, saying its how everyone feels Adolescense it just LIKE this. She hated her life as a kid. I tell her, this is what it's made up of. stop shifting these hatefilled memories, childhood tales, what teenagehood entails. i don't want to know, i want to sleep for a while. upstairs there's an artist. strumming on steel, scribbling on paper, he depicts these emotions, and uses this vice as a ...

I haven't been very disciplined about writing here this whole summer. I have no excuses, I'm just lazy, unproductive, and smelly. I went to my parents' camper with them, Elise, and my brother Derek for a few days. We met some really interesting people at this fair they were having. We bought a bag and filled it with some really strange knick-knacks for 1$. We met a wizard named Ed , who Elise and I tied the knot with. We met some kids around our age, and we watched Ed the wizard together. One of the kids, Patrick told me and Elise to find him on Myspace. For laughs we tried, but to no avail. We had a pretty nice time, but I wasn't feeling all that well, so we didn't kayak or anything. The day after we came home from Vermont, I went to Cape Cod with Elise's family. We had a really nice time, we went on a bike trail, played mini-golf, went to the mall, visited a glass blowing museum, and played taboo every night (Which Eelz and I pwn at, thank you very much.) I ha...

The summer seems to be going by pretty quickly, I've wasted all of my time. So, I've cemented the classes I am taking for high school in the fall. I'm taking french 1, ceramics 1, algebra 1, world history, environmental science, Honors English 1, etc. I think that's all of them. I'm taking ceramics in place of gym, thank you mom. I was going to take art 1, but the only art 1 class that I could get into is at the same time as my English class, so giant ceramic inappropriate obhects, here I come! (Pun unintended.) I still have to do my summer reading and packets. The Chosen by Chaim Potok, This I believe: The Personal Philosophies of Remarkable Men and Women, and A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. I have a science packet to do on A Short History of Nearly Everything, and a math packet that I've been slowly doing a little bit of, I've forgotten so much already. It's a mess. I am going to do bad in school, namely because The Sims 2 has a ne...

Things to bring on vacation: Ipod, Camera, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Pedro the Tiger, Clothes, Floss, Hair straightener, Sassy attitude, Batteries, Pencils, Cellphone & charger, Composition notebook, Lotion, DVDs: Almost Famous, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, et cetera. makeup, candy, Band hoodie of a band you listened to three years ago, but still own and like the hoodie. My best friend.