Miscellania

So is it just me who notices that on the little bar right above where i'm typing this, it has a B for bold, and an I for italics. And that they're together, saying Bi. am i the only one with a sense of humor so immature i find this amusing? ABSOLUTELY NOT, i know you did it on purpose blogger.com! So i have a really big bed now, and i can't wait to be even more late for everything because i'm sleeping in, or just laying there staring at the ceiling and listening to sparrows in the morning. I began reading Pride and Prejudice, just because i wanted to prove its not all its hyped up to be, and i only liked the movie because Keira Knightley and Matthew MacFayden are hawt. In the most sophisticated way, that is. I hate artificial light, and i had all these ideas for youtube videos, and my camera's batteries were dead. Picked out my classes for highschool, I'm taking french, Algebra 1, World History, Honors Biology, Honors English, and i'm seeing about taking an...

it's all always work in progress! Getting a bunch of stuff from my dad's, including: BIGGER BED, OOHH YEAAAH; THREE PIECES OF PLEXIGLASS (hence second lady); stuffed animals, including my favorite, this weird tiger thing; big posters for excellent murals; rugs/pillows/other accessories from my room at his house; sudoku is what keeps me sane. i'm working on a bunch of lists, but i keep forgetting what i want to write on them. i love my bestfriend, she's lovely. HURRY UP, SPRING. xo, m.

So far in march, I've: had a doll of my pediatrician..?, brushed my teeth, saw the weather, made some brownies that looked like cat food, Found some elephant thing in my kitchen, Made fun of the government, Watched Derek laugh, watched alex laugh, and watched his facial hair grow to kill time, examined alex's amp, pretended to play piano, woke up at 1:16pm, drank some grape juice, waiting for reservations, waited for derek to order, watched alex fiddle with his shirt button, stalked some cutie with transparent hair, looked through some beer, had dinner with my family, embarrassed my brother for his birthday, watched derek have his cake and eat it too, loved sam's dog, loved sam's dog some more, that's a lot of love. sam became fourteen, and joined meggers in being a helium addict seriously, so much love.

You say that he's changed, and become someone you can actually talk to. But i don't think he's changed. i think you have. You've become someone like him, someone HE can talk to. You're just too blind. She says that these things will get better, they can only get better. She says she likes me happy, and likes when i tell her if i'm feeling otherwise. She's just too blind to see. They say they are proud of me, that i'm managing everything pretty well, and that i seem to be dealing with everything in general pretty well, they're just too blind to see. We say that these things havea way of working out, and if they don't, i still have a choice. It's always my life, always my right to my mind, and always my choice. We're just too blind to see. I say i want to be a better person, inside and out. I want to improve myself. I say that i'm working on becoming something i can be proud of, and this is just how i have to do it. I say that i want t...

Creating a self portrait, tangibly and metaphorically. I am so unbelievably sick of trying to edit myself all the time. I am so tired of working towards the future, and dealing with the now. I am so insanely annoyed with wanting to be something, and never being it. I am so endlessly unhappy with always being one step behind. I am so worn out and worn in and beat up. I am the soles in the shoes you wore, everday. I am just serving my purpose because it's something to do. I am bored with rushing to get to school, wait, rush to get home, wait for morning again. constantly hurrying to wait. Everything is monotonous, and everyone is more interesting than I. Everyone is tiring, and requires too much effort. Everyone is pulling, prodding for the same affection they are so used to receiving. Everyone is the same, even i feel the same, for saying that i'm tired of everyone being the same.

that i just posted one of these, and i know that i shouldn't even be posting this. and i know that i will feel bad for posting this, but i want to write down how i feel. so i will look at this later, recognize that i am feeling this again, and realize that somewhere in between, feeling like this, and feeling like this again, i felt better, so that i CAN feel better. ya dig? I feel like if i was a "bro", my family would like me more. i have middle child syndrom, and i am the youngest. I'm the only girl in my family, with four older brothers. i know that this is lame, and this is another reason why they would like me more if i was a bro, because i wouldn't be sitting here, avoiding sleep, avoiding rational thinking, and whining about my feelings on a blog site. sorry, blogger, that's just how it is. Anytime our family takes a vacation, i try to bring a friend. if i bring a friend, i don't have to sit around and do nothing while everyone else in the family ru...

Listening to lately: Sonny Moore and Arctic Monkeys Reading lately: In The light of You, Nathan Singer I should keep this thing updated. Today was righteous, for a couple of reasons. I'm on vacation, so i slept until noon, rolled out of bed, back combed my hair, brushed my teeth, and i was ready for the day.Plus, I sat around all day, reading and playing the sims 2, and it feels really good that i get to do all the stuff i normally do, without having to refer to it as procrastination. I've decided that i put too much faith into my computer, i.e, having all of my writing on it. Well not all of my writing, but there's not much else that i wrote seriously or isn't for school that i don't have on my computer. So, as foolish as it may seem to revert to previous technology and go back to writing with a pen, i've begun to take down a lot of my writing into a notebook, stuff that i like, just for safe keeping. You know what's the weak sauce? My room is adjacent to m...