Miscellania

Dear friend, I am less than par. I can fast, I can wear makeup, I can cut my hair. But it doesn't help, and I feel ugly all of the time. Nothing will make me feel special. I don't want you to tell me I'm pretty. Just let me make my mistakes, I'll stay out of your way. I'm just like you, prettier outside than i am inside. Imagine what that could mean. xo , M.

I'm thinking of you, though I don't know you yet. I'm sitting here, temporary purple dye in my hair, water glass in hand, cold crimson in my arms, and i think of you. This hopeful entity, you cross my mind every once in a while. Someone who'll love me for me? Someone who'll let me love them for them? Someone who'll let me experience something beyond romance cliches, but secretly agree with them. I don't know your race, gender, religion, home, i don't know your eye color, your favorite song, i don't know if I'll my first impression of you will be a good one, or vice versa . I'm sitting here, 3:33 am, thinking of you and listening to 'heartbeats'. Feeling a little inspired, i guess. Mostly just mulling over recent things I've heard. It's come to my attention that "sometimes two people are perfect for each other, but one doesn't see it because the other isn't the "prettiest,"." I wonder if I'll ...

sweep the dust from under the rugs, light the candles, and raise the shades. shed your skin with me, this is the first day of our life. I'm going to keep my legs moving, keep pedaling forward. I guess its all i can do. Thank you, my friends. I am so grateful for the skies, for being scolded, for sharing laughter, for meeting friends, dancing manically. I am so grateful for you. That you've lent me your ear. That you've allowed me to open up, sharing your life is the easy part, its finding someone who cares that can be difficult. You're a beautiful, beautiful entity.

April To do list #1: find spot for paintings/supplies. clean up room, write reflection on edgar allen poe's Bells for english. watch kenan and kel, nap. Top five favorite drinks, april third, two-thousand and eight 1. orange soda, 2. apple juice, 3. cran-apple juice 4. water 5. yellow lemonade

today we welcome new things into our lives. we want the responsibility, and we want to feel proud of something. because we feel like we can't be of ourselves. today we rearrange furniture, take aimless walks, wave to strangers, and wear our unflattering worn in clothes. because it makes us happy. today we lift up the rocks, just to examine the life underneath. the worms and the bugs, just living within metaphor, underneath a rock. there's a place for us. this is my niche, i am the mess. i am thee crust. i am the soil. i make no sense, i am in love, with the sun.

So is it just me who notices that on the little bar right above where i'm typing this, it has a B for bold, and an I for italics. And that they're together, saying Bi. am i the only one with a sense of humor so immature i find this amusing? ABSOLUTELY NOT, i know you did it on purpose blogger.com! So i have a really big bed now, and i can't wait to be even more late for everything because i'm sleeping in, or just laying there staring at the ceiling and listening to sparrows in the morning. I began reading Pride and Prejudice, just because i wanted to prove its not all its hyped up to be, and i only liked the movie because Keira Knightley and Matthew MacFayden are hawt. In the most sophisticated way, that is. I hate artificial light, and i had all these ideas for youtube videos, and my camera's batteries were dead. Picked out my classes for highschool, I'm taking french, Algebra 1, World History, Honors Biology, Honors English, and i'm seeing about taking an...

it's all always work in progress! Getting a bunch of stuff from my dad's, including: BIGGER BED, OOHH YEAAAH; THREE PIECES OF PLEXIGLASS (hence second lady); stuffed animals, including my favorite, this weird tiger thing; big posters for excellent murals; rugs/pillows/other accessories from my room at his house; sudoku is what keeps me sane. i'm working on a bunch of lists, but i keep forgetting what i want to write on them. i love my bestfriend, she's lovely. HURRY UP, SPRING. xo, m.