A Child and a Woman

"I think that little kids know something… I think they’re a lot braver than we give them credit for, because they’re willing to look straight at a thing that’s big and sad and beautiful, that is too much for us to look at when we’re a little older. And I guess when I write songs, I’m trying to write them from the place in myself that’s childlike. But not childlike simplistic, childlike in the opposite way, that kind of bigness of awareness that kids have. Like, the part of them where they’re watching the window and they’re not gonna tell their mom and dad and they’re not gonna tell the other kids, but like, they just saw a moment between two people sitting at a table and they know something about that moment and they’re going to remember it until the day that they die."
-Joanna Newsom

Right now I'm at a point in my life where I'm beginning to really think and really explore the type of person I will be and the type of life I will live. I've been trying to reprioritize my life and eliminate a lot of the baggage I've been lugging around. Mentally, emotionally, physically, socially. I'm trying to simplify my life so that as I begin. "growing up" for lack of a better term, I can hope to sustain some ground and keep my head on straight. I've compiled a list of how I can better simplify my life in all aspects. Here it is:

1.) Donate/Eliminate unnecessary material items.
-My favorite way of going about this is by giving things away to friends. Most of my friends and I have similar taste, and so many of them would appreciate the 'stuff' I have much more than I. If clothes don't fit, are torn/old/broken donate them to the GoodWill/Savers.
-This also applies to other aspects. Delete spam e-mails, old files, "friends" you don't even know/talk to on Facebook, etc. It seems small but you will attain a peace of mind knowing you've done it.

2.) Create new goals. Keep them to yourself.
-I'm realizing lately that I don't offer myself as much privacy as I deserve. If something exciting is happening in my life, I blab about it to anyone who will listen. Many of my classmates, teammates, and teachers know what I'm thinking and they don't need to. Things are more special if only the special people in your life know about them.

3.) Spend more time and less money.
-There is no need to go out and spend money as something to do. Instead of going out to dinner or going shopping with friends, watch movies, do artistic projects together, play outside, etc. Live frugally.

4.) Take better care of yourself.
-Don't think I'm eating this salad instead of that double cheese(boca)burger on two glazed doughnuts with a fried egg and facon because it's healthy. Say, I'm eating this to fuel my body because I care about myself.
**Learn to genuinely care for yourself. Listen to your body. Sleep when you need to, eat when you need to, exercise when you need to. Stimulate your mind and body, or you'll become restless and take up commitments you don't actually care about.**

Finally,
5.) Do the things that make you happy.
-Go for a walk alone. Take a nap on the floor in the middle of your bedroom. Watch Phineas and Ferb. Listen to the most embarrassing music in your Itunes. The rapture is coming (kinda), people! Enjoy yourself.

Aside from trying to simplify my life, I'm expanding my time invested in my favorite craft- spoken word poetry. I've been writing pretty regularly and the first spoken word poetry meeting is this Saturday at a library in my city. I'm exploring writing about different topics and from different perspectives. One thing I've been experimenting with is finding that childlike part of me that Joanna was talking about in that quote. I'm remembering the quirks I had as a small girl, memories I've let collect dust, and writing from one of the purest parts of myself. I don't know how to explain it much further than that, but I'm really working on being the woman I want to become. It's funny, I'm becoming a woman by remembering being a child.

Summer is fast approaching. I want most for it to bring sweltering days so hot I'll watch the wood sweat & be forced to throw my hair into a dilapidated bun. This is K's last summer before college, and it's.... it's...

~`**BOUTA BE ROCKINNN'~~!**